Finding myself (P1)

 Closure

I'm trying to give you up.

Trying to give it all up.

Trying to let it all go.

Trying to find myself slow.

Healing the heart that burnt

with millions of glasses torn apart

all torn apart by me

and the decisions of regret.

And i'll be honest here,

I've forgotten you alot

but you came to mind

hours i forgot

yet those seconds i remember

you pass my mind each second

not with love

not with infatuation

rather regret

and a strange linger 

that stems from the innocent child

clueless of her own hearts desire

for i desired you

and when time told me

it wasnt fate 

it felt it couldnt be true

however my mind

for the best knew,

that no matter what, it was the fact

that the destiny i made in my head

was rather a story of my skills

and not the shape of gods plan

for i had thought god has planned our fate

how silly 7 years long of love can result 

in such delusions 

or were they delusions or the making of an empty heart? and the stolen tears of a clueless child?

Indeed, God knows better,

he plans better,

and so i shall let you go.

Despite knowing how painful

it feels that you'v probably never saw

me the way i thought you saw me,

God has its own ways

and so dear one,

i let you go

and fill myself with love

i heal myself of gratitude

and let you go of my life.

the rope i hung so tightly

clung to out of fear,

i've decided to let it go

and fly in the sky up near,

i shall feel the strong wind blow my hair

and my smile appear as it does

and i'll feel the pleasent wind 

hit my face as i find peace.